and so we beat on...

a little gonzo coaching for ya:

still coming down off the high. many highs.

and yet i am sober as a judge.  great work today.  what a ride.

so much to get the juices flowing.

there's nothing quite like sitting in missouri, watching the cardinals pull out a win at the VERY last moment with a ton of screaming fans all around you and the happy client in front you and the client's OTHER consultants on either side of you.  smell the fear.  smell the joy.  smell the glove.

there's also nothing like walking into the room for your meeting thirty minutes before your clients arrive and finding a noxious load of mystery fumes that make the room unbearable.  it physically knocked you back.  in a chemical induced haze, we trashed the place.  chairs on top of chairs.  think cards on the floor.  insidious giggling from the mind-numbing air that no one could explain.

should we get a fan?  should we change the room?  all the rooms smell?  and they smell BAD?  is it the carpet cleaner?  is it the kitchen?  no.

is it the fact that when they hooked up the new HVAC system they put the intake vent right next to the output vent for the boiler that is cranking at full power because missouri is about twenty degrees right now and no one -- not even the mutant that set up all the chairs -- noticed until right before our meeting was about to start?  yes.

did it take them all day to figure out what the problem was?  yes.

fear not.  your intrepid teammates took our show on the road to the giant bizarro atrium of the oasis hotel.  oasis indeed.  the only thing missing from the scene of gargantuan ferns and palms was a mosquito the size of a cessna and a tribe of unruly natives.  oh wait, we WERE the tribe of unruly natives.

not satisfied with the death reek of our intended homeland, we conquered the unoccupied territory around the swimming pool.  many pictures will follow.  courtney always says not to compete with food.  how about competing with four waterfalls and six fountains in room that feels like richmond in late july?  very sticky.  flushed faces.  lots of shouting.  shattered nerves.

ever resourceful, we dispatched missionaries to request that the gods cease the mighty rage of the waterfalls.  silly mortals.  we are no match for the forces of nature.  it was only when i, feeling ripe with opportunity, was asking the front desk for thirty five milkshakes that cara comes screaming from the bush.  the room is flooding.  the room is flooding.  and then off she went.  i won't lie to you -- it took me a few minutes to grasp that the water must flow at all costs.  either it shoots up in the air and cascades down the rocks or it spills across the floor.  there is no shutting it off.

enter armies of heroic men with giant squeegees.  the clients barely noticed, captivated as they were by young yap, ever watchful for the emergence of king kong from his pool-facing room behind the primordial flora.

we eventually fled to higher ground, comandeering a conference room that was unoccupied.  and none too soon.  when they turned the waterfall-fountain-prom-bar-mitzvah-land-before-time-esther-williams-thing back on it shot up to the ceiling, spraying water all over where we had been seated moments before.  the geyser narrowly missed a high voltage lighting system.

oh the glory of it all.  it kind of makes you wonder why some guy would be typing you all of this instead of sleeping up for tomorrow.

it's funny as hell, that's why.

and i am still too high to sleep.

 

BFA